The History or Story Behind My Site
One day...I was really bored and I really thought I would die if I didn't do anything about it. Bingo was closed. So, I decided to make a website.

Whatever you do...do not move to Grey Bruce. You'll be saying "you'se guys" in no time!

update 2003: I don't live in Grey and Bruce counties anymore...I've had enough of that place...and I don't say you'se guys.

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDY
On this fine summer morning, here are some
deep thoughts to think
about.

#1 Before criticizing people, walk a mile in
their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you
will be a mile away and have their shoes.

#2 If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten
lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

#3 If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier
about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed
all the time, for no good reason.

#4 To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks
of something when you walk around. That way, if
anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can
say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

#5 The face of a child can say it all, especially the
mouth part of the face.

#6 If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a
cute thing to tell him is, 'God is crying". And if he
asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him
is, 'Probably because of something you did".

#7 If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing
yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what
REALLY throws you into a panic.

#8 Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet
sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I
think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then
it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

#9 To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no
music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each
other.

#10 I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they
choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I
bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

#11 Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to
look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's
made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind". What
do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is
mankind.

#12 If you go flying back through time and you see
somebody else flying forward into the future, it's
probably best to avoid eye contact.

#13 It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have
more money. And I guess that's what I like about it.
It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and
forth, wanting that money.

#14 If you ever reach total enlightenment while
you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out
of your nose.

#15 As the light changed from red to green to yellow
and back to red again, i sat there thinking about
life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and
yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.

#16 I can picture in my mind a world without war, a
world without hate. And I can picture us attacking
that world, because they'd never expect it.

#17 I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head
and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might
think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs
hatching.

#18 Whenever you read a good book, it's like the
author is right there, in the room talking to you,
which is why I don't like to read good books.

#19 Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window?
The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he
falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular
window.

#20 During the Middle Ages, probably one of the
biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because
you were "just going down to the corner."

#21 When I found the skull in the woods, the first
thing I did was call the police. But then I got
curious about it. I picked it up, and started
wondering who this person was, and why he had deer
horns.

#22 Sometimes I think you have to march right in and
demand your rights, even if you don't know what your
rights are, or who the person is you're talking to.
Then on the way out, slam the door.

#23 If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy
behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad
if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

#24 Broken promises don't upset me. I just think,
why did they believe me?

#25 Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing
that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

#26 For mad scientists who keep brains in jars,
here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each
jar, for freshness?

#27 I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle
swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then
maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the
fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a
documentary.

#28 If I was the head of a country that lost a war,
and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was
signing, I'd glance over the treaty and
then suddenly act surprised. 'Wait a minute! I
thought we won!"

#29 Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a
new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you
have chosen the nickname "Fly Head". Normally you
would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person
who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying
through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also
mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some
people might actually think that.

#30 I hope that after I die, people will say of me:
"That guy sure owed me a lot of money".